The only thing better than The Bachelor, is The Bachelor Canada! It’s back guys and it’s cheesier than ever-yes, it is possible. Let’s just say Canada chose a very interesting group of girls to entertain us this season. But first off, we have to discuss our dazzling bachelor, Tim Warmels. What do we think ladies? Our bachelor was born and raised in the small countryside town of Campbellville, Ontario. Oh la la. The 28-year-old entrepreneur is not only a farm boy at heart, but the plays hockey too! You are so hot Tim! Tim likes aviators, capri pants and himself. He rocks the three-day stubble and he can seriously handle a great walk along the beach.
On a serious note though, did his lingering gaze throughout the episode make anyone else uncomfortable?
Now that we are done talking about how impressive Tim is, lets discuss the women. Can I just be blunt and say most of these women are not even remotely attractive? On an average trip to the grocery store I see at least 25 women hotter than this bunch.
Natalie, the seductive French teacher, is by far the most promising contestant this season. After whipping her hair down in her intro video I thought she was going to be naughty, but unfortunately this doesn’t seem to be the case. Hey Natalie, do you really talk in your teacher voice 24/7 or is that just for TV?
Next we have Sonia, the 42-year-old lingerie model from Calgary. I don’t have an issue with her age, but I do find the amount of work she’s had done very concerning as well as distracting. Let’s tone it down, and while we are at it, keeps some clothes on too.
Rene-Anne, the ER doctor from Quebec seems to be full of personality. Not crazy about your dress, but hey you are a doctor right? Let’s keep you around. I have a feeling it’s going to get violent this season.
April, you should seriously share your amazing singing voice with Canada! They would be super impressed, so would Tim! Oh wait….you already sang a song on national television? AWESOME! That definitely deserves a first impression rose.
Lisa, our spicy world travelling red-head is rumoured to stay around for quite a while. I wonder if she will be able to keep up her mysterious act all season. Speaking of mystery, all the girls think Tim is sooo mysterious. I’m sorry but really? I think he is just a huge player who doesn’t want to get caught in lies, so he choses to keep his mouth shut.
Not sure what to think of the other April either. Just wow. Just when you thought Canada couldn’t lower their standards any further, they let this one on the show. So you are a Vagician AND a burlesque dancer? You may as well make your grand entrance after shooting confetti out of the limo…
Jennifer Selinger, the joyologist, you were my favourite. It wouldn’t be an easy job motivating all of these girls during a tough evening of hitting on our bachelor, but you did it!! Good for you. Maybe one day you will meet Tim again over a coffee so you can tell him about your interesting life. I’m sorry he put you in the friend zone so quickly. You will be missed.
Oh and we can’t forget about Kaylynn, the extremely unstable brunette with the greasy ponytail. After many tears and some serious soul searching, our crazy girl ACTUALLY managed to get a rose. Wow Tim. You continue to surprise us all!
So Jenny, the girl with the accent. Sorry WHERE did you say you were from? I’m just a little bit confused here. Cute personality but is that not a British accent? But you are from Hong Kong? I just don’t understand.
I can’t remember most of the other girls but I seriously look forward to getting to know them better throughout the season. Making fun of attention-obsessed women who say stupid things on reality TV is truly one of my favourite things to do.
So, after a drawn out evening with lots and lots of candles…our bachelor finally made his decision. Who will he keep around for the once in a lifetime opportunity to be Mrs. Warmels? Doesn’t that name just have a beautiful ring to it?!
Christine, Natalie, Sechelle, Kaylynn, Jenny, Dominique, Martha, Rileigh, Burlesque April, Lisa, Rene-Anne, Campfire April, Alison, Sonya and Trisha managed to get roses…see you next week you lucky ladies. I’m sure our handsome bachelor has planned some VERY exciting dates for you.
Not such great news for Andrea (i thought she was super cute!) Jacqueline, Jennifer, Jewel, Kelsey, Martha, Raelee (Canada’s pick & an amazing woman!) Rebecca, Riti, Sarah, and Sharan. I hope you didn’t delete your Tinder accounts!
Maybe next week will be a surprise makeover week and Tim will be like, okay, now I see why I signed up for this. Fingers crossed.
We have the MOST DRAMATIC SEASON EVERRRRR ahead of us guys. Be super pumped about this.