1. Episode 9 Recap: Fantasy Suites-Oh La La

    Fantasy suites baby!

    I think it’s safe to say our Bachelorette, Andi Dorfman, needs to redeem herself this week after her nightmare experience in the fantasy suite with Juan Pablo last season.

    Episode nine begins with Andi taking a leisurely stroll down the beach in the Dominican Republic, pondering her different options. “I’ve got three great choices, three very different choices. There are three different paths in front of me right now,” she tells us. Oh Andi, must be a nice life.

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    Date One: Nick

    Andi takes Nick on a helicopter ride to a private island, where they spend the day making out in the ocean. However, Andi doesn’t waste time and takes the opportunity to bring up some of her concerns about Nick’s dating history. Nothing says romantic like talking about your exes. Andi is concerned because Nick’s family expressed last week how Nick takes breakups VERY hard. Nick admits to being a mess after one split in his 20s (not leaving his house for 6 months) and to having a bruised ego after his broken engagement.

    With the exes out of the way, Nick now tries to tell Andi he loves her. However he stumbles a lot (understatement), making it very awkward for the viewers. Like seriously dude? Man up. Finally he is able to get the words out at dinner after presenting her with a storybook about their time together. Maybe he should have put a little less time into the book and a little more picking out an appropriate outfit. WHAT WAS HE THINKING? Bright red pants with a neon polo? YIKES.

    Anyway, Andi loves it all and of course and invites Nick to the fantasy suite. Nick makes it very clear he is going to “talk her ear off all night.” I’m sure that comment was for his mother and thousand siblings sitting at home watching. Smooth.

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    Date Two: Josh

    Andi meets up with Josh in Santo Domingo and they spend the day eating food, dancing and exploring the city. I think it’s safe to say I would have picked the romantic island over the walking tour, but hey, Josh didn’t know what he was missing right?

    Later Andi takes Josh to a Little League baseball field to play ball with the kids. She just can’t get over how good he is with the little ones! Aw Joshy.

    So now Andi is in a pickle because she is clearly very into Josh, as well as Nick. However, is Josh “serious about getting down on one knee?” Well I guess she can figure that out at dinner! Perfect! Josh assures her he is ready to get married and have kids. They even have cute little discussion about how they would each approach parenting. Andi seems thrilled by Josh’s responses to her tough questions and invites him to the fantasy suite. Josh makes no stupid remarks about “talking her ear off all night” and they proceed to strip down to their bathing suits and make out in the pool.

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    Date Three: Poor Chris

    Oh Chris. Andi and Chris spend the afternoon riding horses through the countryside. Romantic? Not really. Clearly not comfortable on a horse, Andi spends the day panicking that her horse is going to throw her off. Luckily she calms down just in time for a game of hide and seek. Seriously…hide and seek…REALLY?!  Yes, Andi and Chris played hide and seek in the grass. 

    So Chris is feeling great about their connection, but Andi on the other hand, not so much. Andi tells Chris she just can’t “catch up” to his feelings and she explains how her concerns are greater than just moving to Iowa. Andi cries about how her head and her heart just don‘t match up and she explains that she doesn’t want him to sit through the rose ceremony.

    Chris is clearly devastated, but like a gentleman, he tells Andi he understands and respects her decision. Aw Chris!  Next Bachelor perhaps…?

    Rose Ceremony:

    Chris Harrison and Andi have a little sit down and discuss her feelings about the men. Chris asks some lame questions (how did he even get this job?), and Andi gives boring, repetitive responses. She explains to Chris how it’s important to still have a rose ceremony incase Josh or Nick reject her. Yeah right Andi.

    To everyone’s surprise, they both gladly accept roses.

    Next week…Men Tell All. It’s going to be DRAMATIC! Just kidding, the men this season are such a yawn. I do enjoy the producers attempt to hype it up though. Solid effort team. 

     

  2. The Bachelorette: Andi Meets the Family

    FINALLY! I’m caught up with The Bachelorette…just in time for hometown dates, my favourite week!

    So who is taking Andi home to meet the family? Josh M., Nick V., Chris and Marcus make the final four, which is not surprising in the least. Andi hasn’t exactly been subtle about who her favourites are.

    First Date: Andi Meets Nick’s Gigantic Family

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    Welcome to Milwaukee and meet all 50 of my brothers and sister. Holy hell. Did everyone check out the wall of pictures in Nick’s house? I don’t even understand how one person can have that many children.

    Thrilled to be home and on his A-game, as always, Nick takes Andi to brewery that has a beer called “Nick & Andi” on tap! What are the freaking chances? Just incredible! We are so impressed by you Nick! Just wow! It’s so clear why Andi likes you so much more than the other men! You are just so thoughtful!

    Back home with the family Andi meets one of Nick’s bazillion little sisters who I thought was really cute. My dad on the other hand thought she was a little person. Andi explains to little sister all the different types of connections you can have with another person. It was very insightful! “An emotional connection is when you feel happy and sad with the other person.” –Wow thanks for that explanation. Very well said!

    So overall, Andi hit it off with the family…she actually remembered the names of ALL the siblings. Now that seriously says something about how much she likes him.

    I would have been running.

    Oh and another thing. Can Nick maybe switch it up every once and a while and not wear a scarf?

    Date Two: Chris Welcomes Andi to Iowa

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    “Ummm..so like what can I do here?”

    Chris assures Andi she has an opportunity to be a homemaker in the land of farm where there is nothing to do but farm. Chris’s mom on the other hand, very keen for Andi to make babies with Chris, explains to Andi that she can have a career in Iowa too. She explains to Andi how she can relate to the situation because she was born “in town” and managed to adjust to the farming lifestyle. This isn’t 1930 lady. But seriously, she had never even been in a tractor before! CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT??

    So yeah, Chris’s family…VERY open to the Bachelorette process. It’s evident his sisters along with his mother were the ones who put in Chris’s application for the show. I’m assuming there aren’t a lot of hot women popping around the farm looking to fill Chris’s huge house with a family.

    In all honestly though, Chris is the NICEST guy! I can’t even make fun of him because he is just so kind, sincere and respectful. Except can I just say his hairdo is VERY high maintenance for a farmer?

    Date Three: Let’s Talk About Sports

    Is it worse living on a farm with nothing to do, or watching your husband relive his glory days through his little brother? Hm. This is the tough decision our Bachelorette has to make.

    Andi meets Josh in her short pink shorts and he takes her off to a baseball field where he can show off his skills for her. Josh and Andi have what Andi would refer to as a “physical connection.” She didn’t get around explaining that one to little sister.

    Andi thinks Josh is just the hottest thing ever when he is in his element, but oh wait, he quit baseball for a better life. Awkward. Maybe the classroom would have been a better date selection.

    Now Andi meets the family, and by family I mean, Aaron Murray, the former starting quarterback of the University of Georgia and current backup for the Kansas City Chiefs. Oh and did I mention he looks EXACTLY the same as Josh? They must get their eyebrows done at the same place.

    It’s safe to say the dinner conversation revolved around sports. Josh’s sister, yes he has a sister, actually warned Andi that sports would be something they would fight about if they were to have a relationship.

    Very interesting…

    Date Four: Hey Marcus, Put Your Clothes On

    Marcus greets Andi in Dallas, Texas with a little flashback to his stripper solo from the second episode. Thanks for that Marcus. I was just dying to see it all again.

    Next, it’s off to meet his family, who could very well be extremely messed up. Marcus has painted a wonderful picture of his family for Andi throughout the season, so I’m sure she was looking forward to seeing where all the abuse happened.

    In all honesty, they seemed pleasant. Dinner was fine? Marcus maybe talked a bit too much about how much he loved Andi? It was scary?

    Pretty uneventful group of hometown dates overall, not surprising given it has maybe been the lamest group of guys to ever be selected for The Bachelorette.

    The Gang Learns About Eric Hill’s Death:

    Nobody ever teaches you how to react to your ex-boyfriends death while sitting with your four current boyfriends, but I believe Andi handled it pretty well.

    Chris Harrison informs Andi and her bachelors that contestant Eric Hill tragically died in a hang-gliding accident. It was really sad watching them go through that, I honestly can’t imagine how it would feel having a friend die in a situation like that.

    Rose Ceremony: Bye Stripper Boy

    Despite the tragedy, the show must go on and Andi sends Marcus home. Marcus was just pretty boring. Average looking. Great catch in real life, but not top three material, clearly.

    So who is going to win Andi’s heart in the Dominican next week? Josh, Chris or Nick?

    My money is on Nick, but if she chose Chris I was be THRILLED! So would his mom.